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When workplace conflict starts, pause long enough to identify the specific behavior or event and how it affects the work. If it is safe and appropriate, raise it privately and calmly. If the issue is serious, repeated, unresolved, or involves a power imbalance, use your organization’s policy and support channels instead of forcing a one-to-one conversation.
Start by identifying the issue, not assigning blame
Write down what happened, when it happened, and what effect it had on your work or the team. Focus on observable actions and concrete examples rather than guessing at someone’s intentions or labeling their personality. That gives you a clearer issue to raise and makes it easier to discuss a practical next step.
Early dialogue can help people understand each other before positions harden, but the right response depends on the circumstances. Acas describes informal resolution as voluntary dialogue focused on understanding and next steps, not as a requirement to treat every problem as minor. Acas guidance on informal conflict management
Choose a route that fits the situation
| Route | When it may fit | What to consider |
|---|---|---|
| Private conversation with the other person | A specific, relatively straightforward disagreement where you feel safe speaking directly. | Use examples, explain the work impact, and invite their view. |
| Manager, HR, or a representative | The issue is complex, repeated, difficult to raise directly, or involves a power imbalance. | Check your workplace policy to identify the appropriate person or process. |
| Voluntary mediation | A relationship disagreement or breakdown where both people are willing to participate. | Mediation is facilitated and impartial; it is not the right route for every dispute. |
| Formal grievance or investigation process | Informal steps have not worked, or the matter is too serious for them. | Follow the applicable policy and reporting channel; do not assume informal discussion must come first. |
Acas says informal discussion can range from a private conversation to a more structured meeting. Problems should still be taken seriously: a worker can raise an issue informally with a manager or HR, and formal grievance routes remain available if informal steps fail or the matter is too serious. Acas guidance on informal conflict management
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How to raise a conflict privately
- Check the policy and choose a safe person. Depending on the issue, that could be the other person, your manager, another manager, HR, or a union or employee representative. If you are unsure, ask about the relevant process before arranging a conversation.
- Ask for a private time to talk. Avoid raising a sensitive disagreement in a group chat, public meeting, or in front of colleagues.
- Describe a concrete example and its impact. For instance: “When the project handoff changed without telling me, I had to redo the report. Can we agree how to communicate changes next time?” Keep the focus on what happened and what would help.
- Invite the other person’s perspective. Ask what they understood or what was happening from their side, then listen before responding.
- Agree a next step. Make the request specific—such as confirming changes in writing—and agree when to check whether it is working.
For managers, speak with each person individually and privately before drawing conclusions. Avoid assumptions about motives, and consider whether a facilitated discussion or HR advice would help. This approach reflects guidance from Acas and the UK’s Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (CIPD). CIPD guidance on managing conflict at work
When not to handle it as a direct conversation
Do not insist that someone confront a colleague if they feel unsafe, if there is a substantial power imbalance, or if the matter concerns serious conduct. A manager, HR contact, union or employee representative, or another channel identified in policy may be a safer first step. Repeated or unresolved problems can also need support rather than another attempt at the same conversation.
For suspected harassment or discrimination, follow your employer’s reporting policy and use an appropriate channel. In the United States, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) describes federal protections against retaliation for covered reporting. Those protections are specific to U.S. federal law; they do not establish the rules or process for every worker or jurisdiction. EEOC guidance on workplace harassment
Employment rights and complaint deadlines vary by location. If you need to understand your options or timing, consult the relevant workplace policy and a qualified local adviser rather than assuming an informal chat is required first.
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- Author: Bungay Stanier, Michael.
- Publisher: Page Two
- Pages: 244
- Publication Date: 2016-02-29
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When mediation helps—and when it does not
Mediation is a voluntary process in which an impartial person facilitates discussion and helps participants work toward an agreed solution. It may suit a relationship breakdown or personality clash when both people are willing to take part. It is not a universal fix: Acas distinguishes relationship disagreements from disputes such as pay or dismissal, while CIPD says serious harassment complaints are better handled through formal procedures. Acas guidance on workplace mediation CIPD guidance on managing conflict at work
Independent reader supportYour contribution helps us test, update, and keep practical guides available for everyone.What reported outcomes can—and cannot—tell you
In Acas’s 2025 Great Britain survey of people who had experienced workplace conflict in the previous 12 months, 45% said they discussed it with their manager, 30% reported an informal discussion with the other person, and 19% said they took no action. Respondents could select multiple actions. Half said the conflict was largely or fully resolved, while 31% said it was mainly or completely unresolved. These figures describe reported experiences; they do not prove that one approach causes resolution or works for every situation. Acas 2025 research and commentary on workplace conflict
Quick Recap
If the first attempt does not resolve it
- Note what was discussed, what was agreed, and whether the issue continued.
- Return to the manager, HR contact, or representative you consulted and explain what remains unresolved.
- Ask which formal procedure applies and how to raise the issue under your organization’s policy.
- If the matter involves suspected harassment or discrimination, use the appropriate reporting route rather than treating mediation as a required preliminary step.
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