A leadership title can give you the right to make decisions; it cannot, by itself, earn people’s trust or commitment. For emerging leaders, influence grows by understanding what matters to others, listening before making a case, and helping people build their own judgment—not by becoming the person who supplies every answer.
What authority can—and cannot—do
Authority can set direction and clarify who is accountable. But commitment is different from compliance. In an ARN interview published 2 October 2026, Moheb Moses, founder of Channel Dynamics, put it this way: “Authority can create compliance, but it rarely creates commitment.” He described leadership as “fundamentally about getting people to believe in something and commit to it.” Those are his perspectives, not quantified findings.
That distinction matters when you are new to leadership or working with people outside your reporting line. Your role may give you formal decision rights over your team, while colleagues, customers, partners, and stakeholders may have their own priorities and no obligation to follow your direction. In those situations, a relevant case and a credible relationship matter more than a title alone.
Start with the other person’s priorities
Persuasion is more useful when it addresses a concern the other person actually has. Moses advises listening first, asking good questions, and making the message relevant to the person in front of you. Before you pitch a proposal, find out what the person needs to protect, what outcome they are working toward, and what would make the decision difficult.
#1 Best Overall
A practical conversation sequence
- Ask before you advocate. Invite the other person to explain their goals, constraints, and concerns.
- Listen for the decision behind the objection. A concern about timing, risk, or workload may require a different response than a disagreement about the goal.
- Connect your proposal to what you heard. Explain how it addresses a relevant priority, and be clear about trade-offs rather than assuming the benefit speaks for itself.
- Leave room for a real answer. A question is not useful if you have already decided that only agreement is acceptable.
Build judgment instead of dependence
Being quick with answers can help in a crisis, but habitually solving every problem yourself can teach a team to wait for your decision. Rhody Hill, founder of Ecosystem Alchemy, described that outcome in the ARN interview: “Without meaning to, I created a team that relied on me.” She said she shifted toward open-ended questions so team members could develop their judgment and decision-making skills.
Questions that return ownership
- “What options have you considered, and what are the trade-offs?”
- “What information would help you decide?”
- “What would you recommend, and why?”
- “What is the smallest decision you can make now, and what would you escalate?”
Use questions to support thinking, not to disguise a test or withhold necessary direction. If the decision is yours to make, say so. If someone else owns it, clarify the boundaries and let them make the call. Hill’s point is not that leaders should never give answers; it is that answering everything can keep others from becoming capable decision-makers.
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- we like to ship out right away
Influence people who do not report to you
Cross-team work often depends on people who cannot be directed through your reporting structure. The ARN article notes that channel work can require influence with partners and stakeholders outside a leader’s direct line of authority. Harvard Business Review’s management tips recommend identifying people who have real influence on a decision and choosing a moment when they are able to engage.
Prepare before you make the ask
- Map the decision. Identify who formally approves it, who will carry it out, and who can shape the outcome informally. Do not assume the most senior person is the only person whose perspective matters.
- Understand each person’s stake. Consider what they are accountable for and what risks or benefits your proposal creates for them.
- Choose an appropriate moment. Raise the issue when the person has time and attention to engage, rather than treating access as the same thing as readiness.
- Make the case in their terms. State what you are asking for, why it matters to them, and what uncertainty remains.
- Connect people when useful. If the decision depends on expertise or agreement across groups, bring the relevant people into conversation instead of trying to carry every message yourself.
- Invite concerns and respond with curiosity. HBR recommends clarifying the goal and roles in a conversation, and meeting difficult input with curiosity. Ask what you may have missed before defending your position.
Choose an approach that fits the situation
These are practical comparison questions drawn from the advice in ARN and HBR, not a validated scoring system. Use them to decide whether to direct, explain, ask, or make space for a group decision.
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| Question | If the answer is yes | If the answer is no |
|---|---|---|
| Do you have the formal right to set direction or allocate the needed resources? | State the decision and rationale clearly, while allowing people to raise implementation risks. | Build a case with the people who can approve, enable, or influence the decision. |
| Have you understood the other person’s priorities? | Link the ask to those priorities and be specific about the requested commitment. | Listen and ask questions before trying to persuade. |
| Does the group need your answer, or does it need to develop its own judgment? | Give clear direction when accountability or urgency calls for it. | Ask open questions that help the decision-owner assess options and trade-offs. |
| Is the person able to engage, and can they raise concerns candidly? | Use the conversation to test assumptions and agree on next steps. | Choose a better moment or clarify the goal and roles before proceeding. |
| Will your approach solve only today’s issue, or also strengthen capability? | Handle the immediate need and notice what the team can learn from it. | Give the person a manageable part of the decision rather than taking over automatically. |
Make feedback part of how you work
Influence depends partly on whether people feel able to disagree with you. HBR recommends seeking honest feedback about your collaborative behavior, not just asking whether a particular proposal succeeded. Ask a colleague whether you made space for other views, listened to concerns, and clarified what the group needed to decide. Respond to the answer with curiosity; otherwise, people may learn that candid feedback is unwelcome.
Independent reader supportYour contribution helps us test, update, and keep practical guides available for everyone.A short reflection for your next conversation
Before your next important ask, write down three things: one priority the stakeholder is trying to protect or achieve, one open question that could reveal what you do not yet understand, and one decision someone else can own with appropriate support. Then use the conversation to check your assumptions rather than simply deliver your pitch.
Quick Recap
Best Value
- Author: Bungay Stanier, Michael.
- Publisher: Page Two
- Pages: 244
- Publication Date: 2016-02-29
- Edition: 1
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