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Start by asking what your child is playing, what they noticed, and how it made them feel. Keep the conversation curious rather than judgmental, then explain any mature content in language suited to your child’s age and understanding. A game’s rating can help you prepare, but it cannot decide on its own what is right for your family.
Start with questions, then listen
Before setting a limit or explaining a scene, find out what your child has actually seen and understood. Ask open questions such as:
- “What do you like about this game?”
- “What happened in that scene?”
- “Was anything funny, confusing, scary, or uncomfortable?”
- “What do you think the game is saying?”
ESRB President Patricia E. Vance recommends an open, nonjudgmental conversation to learn which games interest children. For older children, include them in setting boundaries where appropriate. Listening does not mean agreeing to every request; it helps you make a decision based on the game and your child, rather than an assumption about either.
Check the game before your child plays
Use the rating as a guide to what may be in the game, not as a complete verdict about how your individual child will respond. ESRB’s system has three parts: an age category, content descriptors, and interactive elements. ESRB says its system includes more than 30 content descriptors.
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- Look up the game’s ESRB age category and content descriptors.
- Read the available rating summary for more context about the content.
- Check what online features the game offers, including chat or user-generated content.
- Review purchase features and the parental controls available on the game, platform, or chat service.
- Decide what is acceptable for your child, and explain the boundary before play where possible.
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) describes ratings as general guidance, not a substitute for a parent’s judgment. ESRB is an industry rating organization; its labels and descriptors can help you prepare, while you remain responsible for deciding what fits your child.
Explain sexual content in age-appropriate terms
Ask what your child saw and what they want to know. Answer the question they asked in clear, calm language that fits their age and understanding. Keep the explanation tied to the scene and your family’s values rather than turning it into a lecture about every possible sexual topic.
If a scene raises a boundary for your family, say what the boundary is and why in simple terms. For example, you might explain that a game’s depiction is not a guide to relationships or how people should treat one another. The AAP’s 2017 guidance on digital media supports discussing sexual themes in media; it does not provide a game-specific script for explaining individual scenes.
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Begin with what the game showed and what your child thinks it meant. A character using a substance, a joke about drinking, or a fictional power-up can leave different impressions; clarify misunderstandings without treating one scene as a complete lesson about real-world drugs or alcohol.
The AAP identifies substance use as a media theme parents should discuss. Its guidance does not provide a script for particular game scenes, so keep the conversation specific: describe what happened, distinguish the game’s fiction from real life, and invite your child’s questions.
Discuss violence without dismissing a child’s reaction
Ask how your child felt about the depiction and what they think happened. If they say a scene frightened or upset them, take that seriously even if the violence is fictional. You can explain that game actions are not the same as real-world behavior without telling a distressed child that there is nothing to worry about.
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The AAP advises trying to exclude violent media from the media diet of children under six. For older children, consider the specific content, their maturity, and their reaction when deciding whether to explain, set a limit, or choose a different game. The AAP also says that one violent game or movie will not make a child violent; that does not mean every game suits every child.
Set clear rules for online play
Content is only one part of a game. Talk about who your child can play or communicate with, what information should remain private, and what to do if another player makes them uncomfortable or asks for personal information.
- Agree on who may contact your child and which chats or multiplayer features are allowed.
- Remind your child not to share personal information with other players.
- Show them how to mute, block, or report someone in the game or service.
- Make clear they can tell you about an uncomfortable interaction without losing the chance to talk honestly.
Reporting tools may be available in the game, on the console or platform, and in a separate chat service. Check the relevant settings together so your child knows where to find them.
Independent reader supportYour contribution helps us test, update, and keep practical guides available for everyone.Choose a response that fits the child and the game
There is no single response for every mature scene. Match the game’s content and features with what you know about your child, then choose a conversation, a limit, parental controls, or a combination.
| What to consider | How it helps your decision |
|---|---|
| ESRB age category | Provides general age guidance for the game. |
| Content descriptors and rating summary | Show which kinds of content are present and offer context beyond the age label. |
| Interactive elements and actual online features | Help you assess communication, user-generated content, and other ways the child may interact. |
| Your child’s age, maturity, experience, questions, and reaction | Help you judge how the content may land with this particular child. |
| Family rules and available controls | Let you decide whether a discussion, a restriction, parental controls, or a combination is appropriate. |
Parental controls can help enforce household rules, but ESRB does not present them as a replacement for parent involvement. Revisit a decision if your child’s reaction, the game’s features, or your family’s needs change.
Guidance and resources
The AAP’s article “Parenting and Digital Media” (2017) recommends active mediation: discuss media with children and pay attention to themes such as violence, sex, and substance use. Watching or playing alongside a child is not, by itself, the same as discussing what happened.
For online boundaries and family gaming practices, see ESRB’s Family Gaming Guide and Patricia E. Vance’s “What Parents Need to Know About Multiplayer Video Games” (April 30, 2020). For AAP guidance on violence and ratings, see “Virtual Violence: How Does it Affect Children?” and “Age-Appropriate Media: Can You Trust Parental Guidance Ratings?”
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