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Fix the driver behind crashes, sound loss and screen glitchesFind Drivers →Clear out junk files and repair common Windows errorsFree Scan →Pause an exchange that is becoming unproductive, then talk privately when both people can focus. Hear each person’s account, identify the specific disagreement and any support needs, agree on practical next steps, and set a time to check in. Tiredness can make communication harder, but it does not establish what caused a particular conflict or whose account is right.
Why a calm, early response matters
Workplace conflict is common, but it can affect wellbeing. Acas’s 2025 survey represented working-age people in Great Britain who had worked in the previous 12 months. Among 4,558 respondents, 44% reported experiencing some form of workplace conflict in the prior year; among those reporting conflict, 57% said it resulted in stress, anxiety or depression. These are self-reported findings and do not show that tiredness caused a dispute. Acas’s survey findings describe reported experiences, not a prediction of how an individual disagreement will turn out.
Acas lists tiredness and irritability as possible signs of stress. They are reasons to check in supportively, not proof of stress or an explanation for someone’s behaviour. CIPD recommends addressing conflict early, speaking with people individually in private, listening without taking sides, understanding what is underneath the disagreement, and checking later whether the situation has settled.
What to do in the moment
- Pause if the conversation is no longer constructive. If either person is too tired or upset to speak productively, suggest a reasonable time to continue, if the situation allows. Keep the pause neutral: the aim is to resume a useful conversation, not to avoid the issue.
- Choose a private setting. Arrange a conversation away from colleagues and interruptions. A private discussion helps people speak candidly while protecting their dignity.
- Describe the disagreement concretely. Identify the event, decision, or communication at issue. Separate what happened from assumptions about motives, and explain its impact on the work or working relationship.
- Listen to each account. Let each person explain what they experienced and what they think needs to change. Ask open questions and do not decide what happened before hearing both sides.
- Agree on action and a follow-up. Set out a practical change, who will do what, and when you will review whether it helped. If the issue remains unresolved, consider a facilitated conversation or an appropriate formal route.
If you are the employee
Prepare what you want to say
Bring a few specific examples and explain their effect, rather than attributing intent. For instance, describe a change in priorities that left work unclear, then say what clarification or adjustment would help. Ask for a practical outcome: a clearer handover, a private check-in, or a review of workload, depending on what the disagreement is about.
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If you are too tired or upset to speak constructively, ask to continue at a reasonable time when you can focus, if circumstances permit. You can raise the disagreement without disclosing personal details. If you choose to discuss stress, Acas advises that a manager should listen, explore possible causes, and work with you on potential solutions. Acas guidance on stress at work explains this supportive approach.
Choose another route if approaching your manager feels difficult
Depending on what is available at your workplace, you could speak with another manager, a colleague, a union representative, or an employee support network. Ask how information will be shared and with whom. Do not assume absolute confidentiality, particularly where a safety issue or specialist support may require others to be involved.
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If you are the manager
Separate the disagreement from the wellbeing check-in
Take the concern seriously without assuming fatigue explains the conduct or that one account is complete. Speak with each person privately. Ask what happened, how it affected the work, and what they think would help. If you notice signs that the employee may be under stress, ask how they are feeling and whether support or a practical adjustment might help; do not diagnose them.
Keep the conversation fair and actionable
- Give each person time to speak without interruption.
- Ask open questions about the disagreement and any underlying work issues.
- Distinguish observed events from interpretations or accusations.
- Discuss realistic changes and relevant support options.
- Record agreed actions in line with your workplace process and set a follow-up date.
Acas describes informal resolution as voluntary dialogue rather than blame or punishment. It may begin with separate one-to-one conversations and, if appropriate, move to a facilitated discussion or mediation. Acas guidance on informal conflict resolution describes the approach. (The URL should be used exactly as supplied by the source.)
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- Author: Bungay Stanier, Michael.
- Publisher: Page Two
- Pages: 244
- Publication Date: 2016-02-29
- Edition: 1
Choose the right route for the situation
| Route | When it may fit | What to keep in mind |
|---|---|---|
| Private informal conversation | A manageable disagreement where both people can engage. | Hear each account, agree specific actions, and check back. |
| Facilitated discussion or voluntary mediation | Direct conversation has stalled or the working relationship is strained. | Participation should be voluntary; mediation is not the right response to every allegation. |
| Formal procedure or specialist advice | A serious allegation, safety risk, or fundamental breach is involved. | Consult the employer’s policy and HR or another appropriate adviser. Do not substitute informal dialogue for required fact-finding or action. |
CIPD distinguishes serious harassment complaints from cases suited to mediation. For allegations such as harassment or discrimination, safety concerns, or a fundamental breach, check the organization’s policy and seek appropriate HR or specialist advice about formal action. Do not promise absolute confidentiality: explain who may need to know and why, especially where safety or formal action is involved. Employment rules and internal processes vary by location and employer.
Independent reader supportYour contribution helps us test, update, and keep practical guides available for everyone.Agree what happens next
End the conversation with a short, shared record of the practical commitments, who owns them, and when you will check progress. The follow-up is not a second argument: ask whether the agreed change happened and whether the conflict has settled. If not, revisit what remains unresolved and choose a more suitable route rather than assuming the first conversation was enough.
Acas reported that half of people who experienced workplace conflict said it was largely or fully resolved. Among people reporting conflict, 45% said they tried discussion with their own manager and 30% spoke with the other person. These figures describe approaches reported by Great Britain survey respondents in 2025; they are not guarantees of resolution. Acas’s survey also makes clear that reported conflict and its effects should not be read as proof that tiredness caused a particular dispute.
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