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Age alone does not show that a parent is incapable of apologizing or changing how they treat an adult child. That is the argument therapist Jeff Guenther made in a social-media post reported by Hindustan Times. It is an argument for taking a parent’s present response seriously—not a promise that every parent will change or that reconciliation will follow.
Why does a parent get to stay the same?
Guenther’s point is that age should not automatically excuse a parent from responding to harm. In the words quoted by Hindustan Times: “We need to stop treating parents like babies who can’t grow. Your mom figured out Facebook Marketplace. She can figure out how to get curious when you tell her that she hurt you.”
The comparison is rhetorical, not evidence that learning a digital skill predicts emotional change. Its underlying challenge is narrower: do not assume someone is incapable of listening or behaving differently just because they are older.
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Repair Windows errors before they cause bigger problemsFix Now →Fix the driver behind crashes, sound loss and screen glitchesFind Drivers →Clear out junk files and repair common Windows errorsFree Scan →Guenther is identified in the report as a licensed professional counsellor based in Portland, Oregon, with a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy from the University of Southern California and a bachelor’s degree in child and family development from San Diego State University. Those credentials provide context for his perspective, but the quoted argument remains his opinion and experience.
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Can someone in their 60s or 70s learn to apologize?
“She’s 70. She’s not going to change” treats age as a verdict. Guenther pushes back with an anecdote: “As a family therapist, I have watched people in their 60s genuinely apologise for the first time in their lives. It’s usually clumsy and takes a few tries, but they can actually do it.”
That is a practitioner’s reported observation, not a measured outcome, statistic, or clinical study. It supports the possibility of change; it does not establish how often it happens, what causes it, or whether a particular parent will make a sincere effort.
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What matters more than age when a parent has caused harm?
In the report’s account of Guenther’s view, attention belongs on how the parent responds now: whether they can hear that they caused hurt, show curiosity instead of reflexive defensiveness, and make an effort to act differently. An apology may be a step toward repairing a relationship, but words alone cannot establish that harm will not recur.
For an adult child, it can help to distinguish the parent’s willingness to acknowledge harm from sustained behavior change, mutual respect, and the boundaries the child needs. These are practical distinctions, not a validated test or a guarantee of reconciliation. A person can remain open to the possibility of change while deciding what contact feels safe or manageable in the present.
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What the family-estrangement context does—and doesn’t—establish
Hindustan Times says the discussion followed a September 26, 2026, Wall Street Journal article titled “Why Are So Many Adults Cutting Off Their Parents?” The report summarizes that article as discussing family estrangement in the United States and shifting cultural norms, but does not identify its underlying researchers or evidence. That summary alone cannot establish that estrangement is rising nationally or explain its causes.
The Hindustan Times article, by Debapriya Bhattacharya and updated October 2, 2026, says its account draws on user-generated social-media content and that the publisher has not independently verified or endorsed the claims. Read Guenther’s remarks accordingly: they offer a perspective on whether older parents can grow, not independent proof of a broad social trend.
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- Hindustan Times: report on Jeff Guenther’s remarks
- Wall Street Journal: “Why Are So Many Adults Cutting Off Their Parents?”
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