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If a parent says they want to die, take it seriously—even if they said it in anger or later dismiss it. Stay with them if it is safe, ask directly whether they are thinking about suicide, and help connect them with crisis support. In the United States, call or text 988 for crisis help; call 911 for immediate danger or urgent medical attention.
What to do right now
- Stay with your parent if you can do so safely. Speak calmly, listen, and do not leave them alone if you believe danger may be immediate.
- Ask directly. You can say, “I’m glad you told me. Are you thinking about suicide right now?” Listen without arguing, shaming, or trying to talk them out of their feelings.
- Find out whether there is immediate danger. Ask whether they have a plan or access to something they could use to hurt themselves. You do not have to assess or manage the risk alone.
- Connect with crisis help. In the United States, call or text 988, or use 988 chat. Call 911 for an attempt, injury, imminent danger, or urgent medical attention.
- Reduce access to dangerous items only if it is safe. Do not try to take a weapon or otherwise put yourself in danger. Ask 988 or emergency responders for guidance.
- Follow up. Keep showing interest and help your parent stay connected to support after the first call or conversation.
The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline describes its approach as “Ask. Be there. Help keep them safe. Help them connect. Follow up.” Its guidance for helping someone else is a useful framework, but you do not need to carry the situation by yourself.
Choose 988 or 911
| Situation | What to do |
|---|---|
| Your parent is in crisis, but there is no immediate attempt or urgent medical emergency | Call or text 988, or use 988 chat, for crisis counseling and help connecting with local resources. |
| Your parent has attempted suicide, is injured, appears to be in imminent danger, or needs urgent medical attention | Call 911. Do not delay emergency help to continue a conversation with 988. |
| You are outside the United States | Use your locally verified crisis service or emergency number. The contacts listed here are for the United States and its territories. |
The Lifeline says 988 is free, confidential, and available 24/7 in the United States and its territories. If you are unsure what to do, contact 988 and explain what your parent said and what is happening now. For immediate danger, use emergency services; the Lifeline describes emergency services as the fastest help in imminent-risk situations. See what to expect when contacting 988.
What to say—and what to avoid
Use plain, compassionate language. After asking whether your parent is thinking about suicide, let them speak. You can tell them, “I care about you, and I’ll stay with you while we find help.” Ask whether they have a plan or access to something they could use, then focus on connecting them to support rather than trying to solve everything yourself.
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- Do: listen without judgment, stay calm, and take the statement seriously even if it was made during an argument.
- Do: involve crisis support if your parent shares a plan to hurt themselves.
- Do not: promise to keep a plan or disclosure secret if doing so would prevent urgent help.
- Do not: debate whether suicide is right or wrong, act shocked, dare them, lecture them about the value of life, or offer glib reassurance.
The Lifeline’s older wallet-card resource suggests asking, “Are you thinking about killing yourself?” and says asking does not increase suicidal thoughts. The Lifeline’s current help-someone guidance is the better reference for the overall response.
Warning signs to take seriously
Look for what your parent says and does, especially when a behavior is new, increasing, or follows a painful event, loss, or major change. The Lifeline lists these warning signs:
- Talking about wanting to die or looking for a way to die
- Feeling hopeless, trapped, or in unbearable pain, or saying they are a burden
- Increased alcohol or drug use
- Anxiety, agitation, reckless behavior, or rage and talk of revenge
- Sleeping much more or less, isolating themselves, or showing extreme mood swings
These signs are reasons to seek help, not a way for a family member to diagnose your parent or predict whether an attempt will happen. The Lifeline’s warning-sign guidance explains the signs to watch for.
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Risk factors are context, not a prediction
Previous suicide attempts, substance-use disorders, hopelessness, major physical illness, relationship or job or financial loss, access to lethal means, and isolation or lack of support are among the risk factors the Lifeline identifies. Risk factors cannot cause or predict an attempt on their own. Use them as context, but respond to what your parent is saying and doing now. Read the Lifeline’s explanation of risk factors.
Get support for your parent—and for yourself
When it is safe, help reduce access to weapons, pills, or other dangerous means, and involve people or agencies experienced in crisis intervention. Contact 988 for guidance, encourage your parent to connect with the Lifeline, and ask another trusted person to help. Do not take sole responsibility for judging or treating your parent’s crisis.
If your parent shares a plan to hurt themselves, do not keep it secret. You can respect their feelings while involving people who can help keep them safe. After the immediate crisis, check in and continue offering support. You can also seek support for yourself if the situation is emotionally overwhelming.
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988 options in the United States
- General crisis support: Call or text 988, or use 988 chat.
- Spanish-language support: Call 988 and press 2, text AYUDA to 988, or use Spanish-language chat.
- Veterans, service members, and loved ones: Call 988 and press 1, or text 838255.
- Immediate danger or urgent medical attention: Call 911.
These contact options are listed by the 988 Lifeline for the United States and its territories. If you are elsewhere, verify the appropriate local crisis and emergency contacts.
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