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When family needs you, asking for time away from work can feel harder than it should. In her October 1, 2026 essay for Cisco Talos’s Threat Source newsletter, Amy Ciminnisi reflects on requesting a week to visit an uncle with rare cancer—and on why her manager’s reassurance did not immediately quiet her fear of seeming less capable.
What happened when Ciminnisi asked for time away
Ciminnisi writes that her uncle had been diagnosed with a rare cancer, and her family decided to travel to spend a week with him. She felt anxious about asking for time off and arranging coverage. Her manager responded: “Family always, always comes first at Talos. You spend as much time with your family as you need. Don’t worry, we’ll work everything out. We have your back.”
That support mattered, but it did not make the anxiety disappear. Ciminnisi connects the lingering pressure to a layoff at a previous company and the feeling that she had to prove her worth by becoming “indispensable.” Her account is a personal reflection, not a study of leave policies or a clinical claim about wellbeing.
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A manager can make room for someone to step away, while the person still worries about what that choice signals. Ciminnisi describes that mismatch: she had explicit support, yet still felt compelled to show she could carry more. The essay does not suggest that this reaction is universal; it shows how an earlier job loss shaped her own response.
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Ciminnisi recalls reading a LinkedIn post that said, “We’d all be better off if we gave each other a little more room to be human here without worrying it makes us look less capable.” The post’s author is not identified in the essay. Ciminnisi uses the thought to frame a distinction between being capable and being endlessly available.
How to give yourself the same grace
Ciminnisi’s advice is straightforward: consider how you would respond to a colleague facing illness in the family, then offer yourself comparable understanding. If you would tell that colleague to go, accept help, and let others cover what they can, ask why you should hold yourself to a harsher standard.
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- Recognize the immediate need: time with an ill family member is a meaningful reason to step away.
- Separate your value from the amount of work you absorb without a break.
- Let colleagues or managers address coverage rather than assuming you must solve every detail alone.
- Notice when fear of appearing “dispensable” is tied to an earlier experience, rather than treating that fear as proof you should keep working.
These are reflections drawn from Ciminnisi’s experience, not a guarantee that leave will change someone’s wellbeing or performance. Her point is more personal: you do not have to earn humanity by first proving you can manage everything.
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