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A romance scammer builds trust through an apparent online relationship, then uses that trust to seek money, financial access, or an investment. Before paying, pause and check the person’s claims with someone you trust. If you have already sent money, stop contact and immediately call the bank or payment service involved. U.S. authorities report substantial losses, but the available figures do not establish that scammers have become harder to catch.

What a romance scam is—and how it works

A romance scam uses a fabricated identity and the appearance of affection to gain a person’s trust and then obtain money or access to accounts. The relationship may start on a dating service, social media, or another online platform; moving to private messages does not make it more trustworthy.

The FBI describes a common pattern: a criminal develops affection and trust, perhaps promising marriage or an in-person meeting, then uses the relationship to manipulate or steal. A scammer may claim to work in construction or another job on a project outside the United States. That story can make a long absence seem plausible and set up an urgent request for money.

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The FTC describes requests for travel costs, medical care, a visa, legal trouble, or an investment. The scammer may push to move quickly from a dating service to email, phone, or a messaging app. Once trust is established, a pitch can be tailored to information on your profile, framed as an emergency, or presented as casual investment advice that leads to a fake investment platform.

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Requests may involve a wire transfer, gift card, money-transfer app, or cryptocurrency. These payment methods can be difficult to reverse. A request for bank details or permission to use your account is especially serious: the FBI warns that an account may be used to carry out other theft or fraud.

What the reported losses show

FTC complaint data offer a view of reported losses, not a complete count of all victims or scams. In its May 2026 alert about 2025 reports, the FTC displays romance-scam losses as “$1.48 million” and an average of $2,020 per person. The total appears internally inconsistent with the average, so it should not be treated as a verified overall loss figure or silently changed to a different unit. FTC, “New trends in reports of imposter scams”.

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The FTC separately reported that nearly 60% of people who said they lost money to a romance scam in 2025 said it began on social media. This is a share of people reporting a loss—not a share of all romance scams or social-media users. Across all scam types, reported losses to scams that began on social media totaled $2.1 billion in 2025; the FTC says that overall social-media scam losses were eight times as high as in 2020. Those figures are not romance-scam totals and do not prove that romance scammers have become harder to detect. FTC, “New FTC Data Show People Have Lost Billions to Social Media Scams”.

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Warning signs to take seriously

One sign alone does not prove fraud, and a long-distance online relationship is not automatically a scam. Look for a pattern—especially a fast-moving relationship combined with secrecy, excuses, or a request involving money.

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  • The person becomes intensely affectionate very quickly, talks about marriage, or pressures you to commit before you know them well.
  • They promise to meet but repeatedly cancel, offering a new emergency or work-related explanation each time. The FBI says that if you have not met an online contact after a few months, there is good reason to be suspicious.
  • They ask for money, gifts, financial details, or access to your bank account.
  • They urge you to leave the dating service or social platform, or try to isolate you from friends and family.
  • They ask for intimate images or information that could be used to extort you.
  • They introduce an investment or crypto opportunity after building trust, particularly if they direct you to a platform or process they control.

These warning signs and prevention steps are covered in the FBI’s romance-scam guidance and the FTC’s “What To Know About Romance Scams”.

How to check before you send money

  1. Slow the conversation down. Ask questions and watch whether the person’s answers stay consistent. Do not let urgency or declarations of love rush a financial decision.
  2. Verify claims independently. Search the person’s claimed job together with the word “scammer,” and use a reverse-image search on the profile picture. These checks may reveal reused photos or contradictions, but they cannot certify someone’s identity.
  3. Ask someone you trust. Share the messages and proposed payment with a friend or family member, especially if the person wants secrecy or says only you can help.
  4. Keep money and accounts out of it. Do not send money or gifts to someone you have never met in person. Do not share bank credentials or let an online contact use your account to receive or forward funds.
  5. Review privacy settings. Limit who can see your posts and contact details; profile information can help a scammer make a pitch feel personal.

A request for money, account access, or an investment is a reason to stop and verify—not a problem to solve by sending a smaller amount.

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What to do if you already paid

  1. Stop communicating. Do not send more money or provide additional information. Preserve messages, profile details, receipts, transaction IDs, and payment records.
  2. Contact the payment provider immediately. Tell the bank, card issuer, gift-card company, wire-transfer service, money-transfer app, or cryptocurrency platform that you paid a scammer. Ask whether the payment can be stopped, reversed, or refunded. The options depend on the payment method and circumstances; a refund is not guaranteed.
  3. Report the account to the platform. Notify the dating service or social-media site where the contact began, or the platform where they contacted you.
  4. File a report with the FTC. Use ReportFraud.ftc.gov.
  5. Report it to the FBI’s IC3. The FBI directs people affected by romance scams to IC3.gov.

Reports help authorities and platforms identify fraud patterns, but neither reporting channel promises that lost money will be recovered. The FTC’s payment-specific advice is in its romance-scam guidance; the FBI also explains how to stop contact and report a romance scam through its official page.

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