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Romance scammers build trust online, then use that relationship to seek money, personal information, or other valuables. Repeated excuses for not meeting and pressure to move conversations off-platform or keep them secret are warning signs. The available U.S. and U.K. sources do not establish that men are uniquely or disproportionately targeted, but anyone can be targeted.
How a romance scam works
A romance scammer uses a false online identity to gain affection and trust, then exploits the apparent relationship to manipulate or steal from the other person. The U.K. Financial Conduct Authority describes romance fraud as deceiving someone into believing they are in a genuine relationship and sending money to criminals. (FBI; FCA)
Contact may begin on a dating app, social network, or messaging service. The person may quickly declare love, promise a meeting, then cite overseas work, travel problems, illness, legal trouble, or another emergency to explain why they cannot come. They may push to continue chatting elsewhere or discourage you from discussing the relationship with friends and family. A request for money can come later, framed as a crisis, a loan, or an investment opportunity. (FTC; FTC; FBI)
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The available official figures show substantial reported harm in both countries, but they measure different things and should not be treated as a direct comparison.
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| Source and period | Measure | How to read it |
|---|---|---|
| U.S. Federal Trade Commission; reports received in 2023, published in 2024 | 64,003 romance-scam reports; $1.14 billion in reported losses; median reported loss of $2,000 per person | Reports and losses submitted to the FTC, not a complete count of all fraud. (FTC) |
| U.S. FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center; 2022 figures cited by FBI Cleveland | 19,000 complaints and at least $739 million in reported losses | This is the combined confidence-and-romance scam category, not romance scams alone. (FBI Cleveland) |
| U.K. Financial Conduct Authority; financial year 2024/2025 | Romance-fraud reports increased 9%; losses exceeded £106 million | The FCA also cited a City of London Police 2025 estimate of £11,222 average loss per victim. These are different measures from the U.S. FTC median. (FCA) |
| U.K. FCA review, 2025 | 85% of 60 confirmed romance-fraud cases originated online | This describes the FCA’s review sample, not the share of all U.K. victims or cases. (FCA) |
These sources do not establish that men in either country are targeted at a higher rate than other people. FBI Cleveland’s warning characterizes perpetrators as predominantly men targeting women over 40, but that is a local office’s description, not a national U.S. or U.K. gender-distribution study. The broader FBI and FTC guidance warns that anyone can be targeted. (FBI Cleveland; FBI; FTC)
Warning signs to take seriously
- The relationship becomes intense unusually quickly, with sudden declarations of love or talk of marriage.
- The person repeatedly promises to meet but has a reason they cannot, such as work abroad or an emergency. The FBI advises suspicion if you have not met after a few months, whatever the stated reason. (FBI)
- They ask you to leave the dating or social platform, keep the relationship secret, or stop consulting people you trust.
- They ask for money, gift cards, cryptocurrency, a wire transfer, a payment-app transfer, valuables, bank details, or help receiving or moving money.
- They offer investment or cryptocurrency tips, promise returns, or say they can help you make money.
- They request intimate images or personal details that could be used for extortion or identity fraud.
- Their photo, name, job, or story does not match information you find independently.
You do not need to prove who is behind an account before refusing a request or ending contact.
Quick Recap
What to do before sending anything
- Pause before sharing money or sensitive material. Do not send money or gifts to an online love interest you have not met in person. Do not provide account details or intimate images under pressure. The FTC puts it plainly: “Never send money or gifts to a love interest you haven’t met in person.” (FTC)
- Check the identity independently. Search the profile photo with a reverse-image search and look up identifying details and the person’s story. A matching photo or plausible profile is not proof of a genuine identity. (FTC; FBI)
- Get an outside view. Tell a trusted friend or family member what is happening and keep them informed before taking a financial step. Isolation can make it harder to spot pressure or inconsistencies. (FBI)
What to do if you already paid
- Stop sending money and stop contact. Do not pay a further fee to recover money or unlock an alleged account without independently verifying the claim.
- Contact your bank or payment provider promptly. Explain that you believe you were deceived and ask whether the payment can be stopped, recalled, or otherwise addressed. The FCA says banks and payment firms can detect, intervene in, and support romance-fraud cases. (FCA)
- Report the account to the platform where the contact began or continued, so it can review the profile.
- For U.S. incidents, file official reports. The FTC accepts reports at ReportFraud.ftc.gov, and the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center accepts complaints at ic3.gov. (FTC; FBI)
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