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Start with curiosity, not an accusation. Ask which chatbots or AI companion apps your teen uses, what they enjoy about them, and what they would ask a person instead. Listen first, explore one example together, and then agree on privacy limits, verification habits, and clear routes to human help.
Keep the conversation open. Services collect different information, their controls change, and a chatbot can sound caring while still being wrong or unsafe. Check whether use is affecting sleep, school, hobbies, friendships, or mood, and revisit your agreement without shame when something feels off.
Why this conversation matters
Teens may use AI chatbots for homework, brainstorming, jokes, role-play, advice, or conversations that feel private. AI companions are designed to sound social, which can make an automated response feel like friendship or counseling. The important first step is to find out what your teen is actually doing rather than assuming every chatbot is being used in the same way.
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1Scan for outdated or missing drivers - takes under a minute2Clear out junk files and repair common Windows errors3Fix the driver behind crashes, sound loss and screen glitchesCommon Sense Media reported in 2025 that nearly three in four U.S. teens ages 13–17 had used AI companions and that half used them regularly. In that survey, one third said they had chosen an AI companion over a human for a serious conversation, and one quarter said they had shared personal information with one. Those figures describe U.S. teens and AI companions, not every chatbot or every young person worldwide.
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The concern is not that every interaction causes harm. It is that a fluent, responsive system can encourage overconfidence, oversharing, or dependence before a young person recognizes the risk. Your goal is to help your teen distinguish entertainment from reality, use AI for appropriate tasks, check consequential information, and turn to people when a human response is needed.
Start without judgment
Choose a calm opening
Bring it up during a low-pressure moment, not in the middle of an argument about screen time or after discovering a single alarming prompt. You might say, “I’m trying to understand these tools better. Have you used an app that talks with you like a friend? What do you like about it?” A neutral opening gives your teen a reason to explain the appeal instead of hiding it.
Michael Robb of Common Sense Media advises parents to listen first so they understand why a young person is using the service. Mitch Prinstein, chief of psychology at the American Psychological Association, describes the educational task this way: “We need to teach kids that this is a form of entertainment. It’s not real, and it’s really important they distinguish it from reality and should not have it replace relationships in your actual life.”
Ask questions that invite a story
Use a few questions, then let your teen lead:
- “What do you use it for?”
- “Have you heard of AI companions, or do you use an app that talks with you like a friend?”
- “What did you figure out before asking the AI?”
- “Did it give you an answer that seemed off or that you weren’t sure about?”
- “How did you double-check or confirm the information?”
- “What information do you think the app knows about you?”
- “What would you do if the AI were unavailable?”
- “When would you rather talk to a person?”
Common Sense Media’s parent guidance presents questions like these as conversation prompts, not an interrogation checklist. If your teen says the chatbot is useful because it never gets impatient or embarrassed, acknowledge that experience before discussing limits.
Find out what the AI is being used for
“AI chatbot” covers very different activities. A homework explanation, a creative writing exercise, and a simulated best friend do not carry the same risks. Ask your teen to show you the service and a typical interaction if they are comfortable. Look at the account age setting, conversation controls, and privacy information together rather than relying on the product’s marketing description.
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| Purpose | What to discuss | Boundary to agree |
|---|---|---|
| Learning, homework, or brainstorming | Whether the teen attempted the work, understands the response, and followed the school’s AI rules | Use AI to explain, practice, or generate ideas; do not submit unexamined answers or hide AI use where a school requires disclosure |
| Creative exploration | Whether the content is age-appropriate and whether the teen can stop without distress | Keep identifying details out of prompts and preserve time for sleep, school, hobbies, and relationships |
| Entertainment or role-play | Whether the teen treats the exchange as fictional and recognizes that the system is not a person | Do not let a simulated relationship replace real-world connections |
| Advice about personal problems | What the teen is worried about and which trusted person could help | Use a parent or caregiver, another trusted adult, school counselor, or qualified professional instead of relying on the chatbot |
| Emotional or mental-health support | Signs of distress, secrecy, escalating reliance, or conversations about self-harm or danger | End the AI-only support loop and involve appropriate human help promptly |
Common Sense Media’s current age guidance says supervised teen use for homework and creativity can be acceptable, while advising against AI for companionship, emotional support, or mental-health advice for people under 18. That is the organization’s recommendation, not a universal legal rule; check the service’s own age requirements and your school or local policies.
Teach verification instead of trust
A confident tone, a citation-looking sentence, or an empathetic reply does not prove that an answer is accurate. Show your teen a repeatable way to test information, especially when the answer could affect health, safety, money, schoolwork, or another person.
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- Restate the claim. Ask your teen to explain the answer in their own words. If they cannot, they may be copying language they do not understand.
- Mark uncertainty. Have them identify which part seems doubtful, unusually specific, or too good to be true.
- Check an independent source. Compare the claim with a teacher, school material, a public agency, a medical professional, or another reliable source appropriate to the subject.
- Check the date and context. Rules, prices, product features, and medical advice can change. A response may be outdated or apply to a different country or age group.
- Ask a person when stakes are high. If the answer concerns symptoms, medication, abuse, threats, self-harm, or immediate danger, do not treat a chatbot as the final authority.
Practice on a harmless example. Ask the chatbot a question together, have your teen point out what seems helpful or questionable, and then verify one statement. The aim is a habit of checking, not a contest to prove that every answer is wrong.
Protect personal information
Make a simple “pause before sharing” rule
UNICEF USA notes that children may disclose sensitive details without recognizing their value. Agree that your teen will pause before entering:
- Full name, school name, address, phone number, or daily routines
- Passwords, account codes, precise location, or information that could identify a friend
- Private family disagreements, photos, screenshots, or identifying details about another person
- Feelings, medical history, diagnoses, medication, or other health information
- Details about abuse, threats, sexual experiences, self-harm, or other crises
Use a general description when possible. “A student in my class is being excluded” reveals less than a name, school, and schedule. Never paste someone else’s private message into a chatbot without considering that person’s consent and safety.
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Review the actual service together
There is no single privacy rule for all chatbots. Services differ in what they collect, how conversations are stored, who can access an account, and which controls are available. Open the app your teen uses and review its current privacy settings and data practices. Check whether chats can be saved, used to improve the service, shared with other features, or accessed on a shared device. Do not promise that a conversation is private or deleted unless the service’s current documentation supports that claim.
Also discuss screenshots, notifications, browser history, and account access. A message that disappears from one screen may still exist in a screenshot, backup, another device, or another person’s account. Recheck settings after major updates because labels and defaults can change.
Keep human support at the center
A chatbot can respond at any hour, but it cannot assume responsibility for a young person’s safety or provide the judgment of a trusted relationship. Common Sense Media and Stanford Medicine’s Brainstorm Lab warn that tested general chatbots can miss signs of mental-health distress and may continue a conversation when human help is needed. Their assessment found that safety degraded in extended conversations.
Robbie Torney, senior director of AI programs at Common Sense Media, states, “It’s not safe for kids to use AI for mental health support.” Dr. Nina Vasan, founder and director of Stanford Medicine’s Brainstorm Lab, explains the risk: “The chatbot becomes a substitute for—rather than a bridge to—real-world support networks and professional care.”
Make the human route concrete before a crisis. Name a parent or caregiver, another trusted adult, a school counselor, and a qualified mental-health professional your teen could contact. Explain that asking for help will not automatically mean losing all device access; the immediate priority is understanding what is happening and keeping them safe.
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Common Sense Media’s mental-health assessment discusses conditions that collectively affect approximately 20% of young people, including anxiety, depression, ADHD, eating disorders, mania, and psychosis. That estimate describes the conditions in its assessment, not the percentage of teens who use chatbots or the likelihood that a chatbot caused a problem.
Recognize displacement and distress
Look for changes in function and relationships rather than judging the number of messages alone. A long session may be harmless creative work; secrecy, distress, or lost time can signal that the role has changed.
| Possible warning sign | Calm response |
|---|---|
| Distress or anger when asked to stop | Ask what the conversation was providing and agree on a stopping point, with a follow-up check-in rather than a sudden lecture |
| More secrecy, anxiety, or withdrawal | Ask whether the app said something upsetting and whether a person has been replaced as the source of support |
| Reliance on AI for emotional comfort | Take the underlying feeling seriously and connect your teen with a trusted adult or professional |
| Sleep, schoolwork, friendships, or hobbies being crowded out | Set specific time and device boundaries, then review whether the change restores daily activities |
| Statements that the chatbot is the only support | Ask what has been happening, who else could help, and involve appropriate human support promptly |
UNICEF USA recommends gentle questions, simple boundaries, and regular check-ins. Avoid shaming your teen for finding comfort in a responsive system; shame can make disclosure less likely.
Independent reader supportYour contribution helps us test, update, and keep practical guides available for everyone.Create a family agreement that fits the use
Write down a short agreement while everyone is calm. It should describe behavior, not merely ban a brand or app, because your teen may encounter a different service next month.
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- Privacy: Which categories of personal or other people’s information stay out of prompts?
- Verification: Which claims must be checked, and who is an appropriate person to ask?
- Schoolwork: What does the school require for disclosure, citations, or independent work?
- Time and balance: What protects sleep, classes, exercise, hobbies, and friendships?
- Help: Whom will your teen contact if a chatbot produces frightening content, requests secrecy, or encourages risky behavior?
- Review: When will you revisit the agreement, and what change would trigger an earlier conversation?
Keep the agreement mutual. Parents can model it by not entering a child’s sensitive information into an AI service casually and by admitting when they need to verify an answer. A rule is more credible when adults follow the same privacy and checking habits.
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Respond if a conversation becomes unsafe
If the chatbot gives disturbing advice
Save enough information to understand what happened, if doing so is safe, and ask your teen what the message meant to them. Do not continue experimenting with a harmful exchange to see what the system will say. Review the service’s reporting and blocking controls, and tell a trusted adult who can help assess the situation.
If your teen discloses a serious problem
Listen for the underlying issue before debating the technology. Ask open questions such as, “What has been going on?” and “Who could be with you right now?” If there is immediate danger, self-harm risk, abuse, or a threat to another person, involve a trusted adult and appropriate professional or emergency support for your location. Crisis procedures differ by country and situation; use qualified local services rather than a chatbot’s instructions.
If your teen refuses to talk
State the safety rule briefly, leave the door open, and offer another route: a text to you, a school counselor, a relative, or a health professional. Continue ordinary connection—meals, rides, walks, and shared activities—so the conversation is not limited to surveillance and correction.
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No single product ranking establishes which chatbot is safe for every teen. When you review a service, consider these questions together:
- Is the purpose learning or creativity, or is the design encouraging companionship?
- What personal information might your teen share, and what privacy controls does this specific service currently provide?
- How will your teen verify answers that matter?
- Are there age-appropriate safety settings, reporting tools, and clear explanations of limitations?
- Does use support daily life, or displace sleep, school, hobbies, and real relationships?
UNICEF’s child-centered AI guidance, version 3, frames safety as a shared responsibility involving safety, data protection and privacy, fairness, transparency, accountability, well-being, and AI skills. It also addresses AI companions and other emerging risks. Families can build safer habits, while companies and policymakers remain responsible for safer design and governance.
Make check-ins routine
Revisit the agreement after a major app update, a change in school policy, a new use case, or any noticeable change in sleep, mood, or relationships. Ask what has been useful, what felt strange, what information was requested, and when your teen chose a person instead. Keep the tone practical: the purpose is to adapt boundaries as the technology and your teen’s needs change.
The most useful outcome is not a promise that your teen will never use a chatbot. It is a shared understanding that AI can be a tool or entertainment, not a person; that important claims require verification; that intimate details deserve protection; and that trusted humans remain the path for emotional support, mental-health concerns, and danger.
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