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Talk about STI testing before sex when possible: ask when each of you was last tested, share relevant results, and decide whether to seek care together. If you receive a positive result, tell partners who may need evaluation—even if you have started treatment—and encourage them to follow a clinician’s advice. If telling someone directly could put you at risk, ask a healthcare provider or local health department about safer notification options.
Start the conversation before sex, if you can
A calm conversation before sex gives both people a chance to make informed choices about sexual health. Choose a private moment when neither of you is rushed or under pressure. You might open with: “Can we talk about when we were last tested and whether we want to get tested together?”
Ask when each person was last tested and whether there were any relevant results since then. Keep the exchange direct and nonjudgmental: testing is a health decision, not evidence of blame or mistrust. The CDC’s Conversation Tips page advises talking with partners before sex and sharing an STI diagnosis even when treatment is underway.
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If you have been diagnosed, tell partners who may have been exposed so they can contact a healthcare provider. You can say: “I got a result that means I should tell you and encourage you to contact a healthcare provider.” Share what you know, including when you learned the result and whether you have started treatment. Do not guess about when or from whom an infection came.
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Give the other person room to respond and ask questions. A diagnosis can be difficult news, but blame does not help either person get care. If you do not know what to say, you can keep it simple: “I want us both to get clear advice about what tests or treatment we need.”
Choose testing with a healthcare provider
There is no single STI test panel or testing schedule that is right for everyone. The tests a clinician recommends can depend on age, sexual history, current practices, symptoms, and the body sites involved. STIs can have no symptoms, so feeling well does not by itself establish that testing is unnecessary.
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Testing may use blood, urine, or swabs. Depending on sexual practices and exposure, a clinician may recommend a throat or rectal swab as well as testing at other sites. Describe the kinds of sex you have and any symptoms or possible exposures so the provider can advise which samples are appropriate.
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The CDC’s Getting Tested for STIs page describes provider-performed testing, self-tests, and self-collection kits. It says FDA-approved self-collection options are available for HIV, syphilis, chlamydia, and gonorrhea; available options can change. Discuss results and next steps with a healthcare provider even if you used a self-test or collected the sample yourself.
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Agree on treatment and when to resume sex
If a result is positive, follow the prescribing clinician’s instructions. Do not share medication with a partner: the right care depends on the infection and the person receiving treatment. Encourage partners to seek evaluation and follow their own clinician’s advice.
CDC guidance advises avoiding sex until you and your partner or partners have completed treatment. Ask the clinician what that means for your specific infection and circumstances, including when it is safe to resume sex. A provider can also explain whether expedited partner therapy (EPT)—providing treatment or a prescription for a partner without first examining that partner—is an option. EPT’s suitability and rules vary by infection and location.
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Use notification support if direct disclosure is unsafe
If you are worried that telling a partner could lead to violence, coercion, or other harm, do not assume you have to notify them face to face. CDC partner-services guidance says clinicians should consider intimate-partner-violence risk when discussing or arranging notification. Ask a healthcare provider or public-health professional about confidential ways to notify partners and connect them with testing or care.
Providers and health departments may offer partner services, which can include notification, testing, counseling, and referral to treatment or other support. What is offered—and which infections are covered—depends on the location and circumstances. HIV partner services are available free through local health departments according to CDC’s Partner Services | HIV Nexus page, but local scope and availability still vary. For jurisdiction-specific questions about services or legal requirements, contact a local provider or health department rather than assuming one rule applies everywhere.
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Get urgent advice after a possible recent HIV exposure
If you think you may have had an HIV exposure within the past 72 hours, seek urgent clinical guidance now. CDC HIV guidance identifies post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) as a possible option after exposure in that window. Do not wait for a partner conversation or rely on an article to decide whether PEP is appropriate; a clinician can assess the exposure and advise you.
Make testing part of a broader prevention plan
Correct and consistent condom use is one way to reduce STI risk, alongside testing and other prevention measures. Condoms do not replace testing, diagnosis, or treatment. If you and your partner want to discuss prevention choices, a healthcare provider can help you consider what is appropriate for your circumstances.
Quick Recap
A simple plan for the conversation
- Choose a calm, private time. Talk before sex when possible, rather than starting the discussion in a pressured moment.
- Ask about recent testing. Share your own testing history and relevant results, then ask your partner about theirs without accusation.
- Decide what care makes sense. Ask a provider which tests fit your circumstances; consider arranging testing together if that feels helpful.
- Share a diagnosis promptly and plainly. Tell partners who may need evaluation, including if you have already begun treatment.
- Follow clinical advice together. Take prescribed medicine as directed, do not share it, and ask a clinician when sex can resume.
- Use a safer notification route if needed. If direct contact could put you at risk, ask a provider or health department about confidential support.
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