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To make a child ask before buying an Xbox game, add the child to your Microsoft family, sign in on the console with an adult account that has the organizer role, and turn on Ask a parent under the child’s Buy & download privacy setting. You can also manage approval and spending from Microsoft Family Safety. These controls cover purchases billed through Microsoft; purchases processed by another company’s billing system require that publisher’s own controls.

What the Xbox purchase controls do

The child-specific control is called Ask a parent. When it is on, a purchase request must be approved by a family organizer instead of being completed directly by the child. The setting applies to the selected child account, not automatically to every profile using the console.

Microsoft provides a second management route in Family Safety. Its Require approval for every purchase option is found under Manage spending and can be used from the Family Safety website or app. Family Safety also shows spending activity and purchase notifications. The console setting and Family Safety controls are related, but they are configured in different places.

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Both routes depend on Microsoft billing. Microsoft says Xbox Family Settings and Microsoft Family Safety do not control in-app purchases handled by non-Microsoft billing platforms; those transactions may not support Ask to Buy or Add Funds and may not appear in Microsoft spending history. See Microsoft’s explanation of non-Microsoft billing platforms.

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Before you start: accounts and roles

Use an organizer account

The adult changing purchase permissions must be a family organizer. Organizers can manage purchase permissions, add money to a child’s account and view spending. A regular family member can request approval but cannot administer the family’s purchase settings. Microsoft describes these permissions in Roles, permissions and data sharing in Family Safety.

Put the child in your Microsoft family

The child needs a Microsoft account that is included in the family group. If the account is not present, add it through Microsoft family management before attempting to change Xbox privacy settings. The adult and child accounts should be distinct; do not give the child the organizer’s sign-in.

Sign the child into the Xbox

Microsoft’s device guidance says to open the Xbox guide, choose Sign in, select Add new, and sign in with the child’s Microsoft account. The console should then appear among the child’s connected devices. The documented device process is at How to connect a device to a Microsoft account.

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  • Have the child’s Microsoft account credentials available.
  • Confirm that the adult making changes is signed in as an organizer.
  • Install any pending Xbox or Family Safety updates before troubleshooting missing menus.

Turn on Ask a parent on the Xbox

Microsoft’s documented console route places the approval switch inside the selected child’s Xbox privacy settings. Menu wording can move after a console update, so use the labels below as the path to the same purchase control.

  1. Sign in to the Xbox with the adult organizer account.
  2. Press the Xbox button to open the guide.
  3. Open Profile & system (the account icon), then choose Settings.
  4. Select Account > Family settings.
  5. Choose Manage family members and select the child’s account.
  6. Open Privacy & online safety > Xbox Live privacy > View details & customize.
  7. Choose Buy & download.
  8. Set Ask a parent to On.

The full Microsoft instructions are available at Require kids to ask before buying from the Microsoft Store on Xbox.

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If you see Child defaults or Teen defaults

Microsoft notes that choosing Child defaults or Teen defaults after opening Xbox Live privacy can also enable the purchase-approval setting. Those presets change more than buying permissions, so review the resulting privacy and online-safety choices if you use them. If the preset is not shown, open the child’s detailed privacy controls and look specifically for Buy & download and Ask a parent.

What happens when the child buys something

With Ask a parent enabled, the child initiates the purchase and an organizer handles the approval request. The approval workflow applies to Microsoft Store purchases associated with the child’s account. Keep the organizer’s account protected with its own sign-in security; otherwise, a child who can use the organizer profile can bypass child-account restrictions.

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Manage approval and spending in Family Safety

If you prefer a browser or phone, configure spending from Microsoft Family Safety. Sign in as the family organizer, open the child’s profile, and locate Manage spending. Microsoft documents a Require approval for every purchase toggle, along with spending activity and purchase notifications. The exact labels can differ between the web interface and the mobile app. Microsoft’s current guidance is in Spending limits in Family Safety.

  1. Open Microsoft Family Safety on the web or in the app.
  2. Select the child’s profile.
  3. Open Manage spending.
  4. Turn on Require approval for every purchase, if that is the control shown for the account.
  5. Review spending activity and enable purchase notifications so requests and completed transactions are visible to the organizer.

Family Safety also describes approval behavior for purchases above the child’s age limit or when the child has no remaining account funds. That means a child may encounter an approval request even when the family has not chosen to require approval for every transaction. Treat the toggle and the age-and-balance rules as separate parts of the spending policy.

Which setup should you use?

Approach Where you configure it Main purpose Important condition
Ask a parent Xbox: Profile & system > Settings > Account > Family settings > child > Privacy & online safety > Xbox Live privacy > View details & customize > Buy & download Require the child to request approval before a Microsoft Store purchase Adult must be a family organizer and the child account must be in the family group
Require approval for every purchase Family Safety web or app: child profile > Manage spending Manage approval, spending activity and notifications from a phone or browser Labels and available options may differ between app and web
Console passkey Xbox: Xbox button > System > Settings > Account > Sign-in, security & passkey > Change my sign-in & security preferences > Customize Require authentication for purchases made through profiles on a shared console General console protection; it is not the child-account Ask a parent workflow

For a child’s individual account, start with Ask a parent. Add Family Safety management when you want remote oversight, notifications or spending activity. On a console shared by several people, consider the passkey as an additional barrier.

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Add a passkey requirement on a shared Xbox

A passkey protects purchases made through profiles on the console, including situations in which another person might be able to open a profile that has payment access. Microsoft’s path is:

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  1. Press the Xbox button and open System > Settings.
  2. Go to Account > Sign-in, security & passkey.
  3. Choose Change my sign-in & security preferences > Customize.
  4. Set Ask for my passkey to make purchases to Passkey required.

See Microsoft’s instructions for preventing unauthorized Microsoft Store purchases. This is a general authentication setting, so it does not replace turning on Ask a parent for the child’s account.

Understand the limits of Microsoft purchase controls

Non-Microsoft billing can sit outside the family controls

Some games and apps process in-app payments through a billing platform other than Microsoft’s. Microsoft says Xbox Family Settings and Family Safety controls do not apply to those transactions. Ask to Buy and Add Funds can be unavailable, and the purchase may not appear in Microsoft spending history. Use the publisher’s own family, account or payment controls for those transactions. Do not assume that a successful Ask a parent test in the Microsoft Store covers every purchase inside every game.

Age limits and account balance affect approval

Family Safety’s spending guidance includes approval behavior for purchases above the child’s age limit and for purchases attempted when the child has no remaining account funds. These rules can generate a request even when you are managing a narrower approval policy. Check the child’s age setting and balance when a request appears unexpectedly.

Gift cards and added funds are optional

An organizer can add money to a child’s Microsoft account, and Microsoft says that balance can be used for games and in-app purchases billed through Microsoft. A parent who wants a fixed allowance can add a limited amount or provide an Xbox or Microsoft Store gift card, where available. Funding the account does not activate purchase approval; keep Ask a parent or the Family Safety approval setting enabled. Microsoft warns that balance limits and gift-card rules vary by region. See Add money to your family member’s Microsoft account and Limits on the money in your Microsoft account.

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Troubleshoot missing settings or unapproved purchases

The child does not appear under Manage family members

  • Verify that the child’s Microsoft account is actually in the family group.
  • Sign out of any non-organizer profile and sign back in with the adult organizer account.
  • Check that you selected the child’s account, not your own account or another family member.
  • Confirm the child has signed into the Xbox using Add new, so the console is associated with that account.

Microsoft’s role and device guidance covers these account and device requirements: Family Safety roles and connected devices.

Ask a parent is not visible

Open the child’s settings through Privacy & online safety and continue to Xbox Live privacy > View details & customize > Buy & download. If an update has changed the wording, look for the purchase approval control in that location rather than relying on an identical menu label. Selecting Child defaults or Teen defaults may also expose or enable the setting.

The child can still complete a purchase

  • Test with the child’s account, not the organizer’s profile.
  • Check whether the transaction is an in-app purchase billed outside Microsoft.
  • Review whether the purchase used an account or payment method that is not governed by the child’s Microsoft family settings.
  • On a shared console, enable the passkey requirement for the profile that holds payment access.
  • Review Family Safety spending activity and notifications to identify which account and billing route processed the transaction.

A legitimate request is blocked

Check the child’s Microsoft account balance, age-related purchase restrictions and the organizer’s notification settings. If the item is billed by a non-Microsoft platform, Microsoft family approval may not be available; use the app publisher’s billing controls instead.

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Verify the setup with a controlled test

  1. Sign out of the organizer profile and sign in with the child’s account.
  2. Open the Microsoft Store and select a low-cost item or free item that proceeds through the Microsoft purchase flow without confirming payment.
  3. Continue until the account displays the approval request, then cancel rather than completing the transaction.
  4. Sign back in as the organizer and confirm that the request or notification appears in Family Safety.
  5. Do not use a real paid purchase as a test unless you intend to complete it; approval controls are permission settings, not a refund mechanism.

If the test completes without an approval request, repeat it after checking the account, billing route and console profile. A test performed inside a game that uses external billing cannot validate Microsoft’s Ask a parent setting.

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Practical setup checklist

  • Adult account is a Microsoft family organizer.
  • Child has a separate Microsoft account in that family.
  • Child’s account is signed into the Xbox and appears as a connected device.
  • Ask a parent is On under the child’s Buy & download controls.
  • Family Safety’s Require approval for every purchase is enabled if you want remote, transaction-by-transaction approval.
  • Organizer notifications and spending activity are being checked.
  • Shared-console profiles with payment access use a passkey requirement.
  • Non-Microsoft in-app billing is covered separately through the publisher’s controls.
  • Any account balance or gift-card allowance is treated as funding, not as a substitute for approval.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I require my child to ask before buying on Xbox?

On the Xbox, sign in as a family organizer and go to Profile & system > Settings > Account > Family settings > Manage family members. Select the child, then open Privacy & online safety > Xbox Live privacy > View details & customize > Buy & download, and turn Ask a parent on.

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Can I manage Xbox purchase approvals without using the console?

Yes. In Microsoft Family Safety, open the child’s profile, choose Manage spending and enable Require approval for every purchase. The web and app may use slightly different labels.

Does Ask a parent stop every purchase inside a game?

No. Microsoft family controls do not apply to in-app purchases processed by non-Microsoft billing platforms. Those purchases may require the game publisher’s own family or payment controls and may not appear in Microsoft spending history.

Is a console passkey the same as Ask a parent?

No. A passkey is a general authentication barrier for purchases made through profiles on a shared console. Ask a parent is the child-account approval workflow and should be configured separately.

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Can I give my child a fixed amount to spend?

An organizer can add funds to the child’s Microsoft account, and those funds can be used for Microsoft-billed games and in-app purchases. Regional balance and gift-card limits vary, and adding funds does not turn on purchase approval.

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